Fear or Love?


Fear is a strong motivator for most people. They get to work on time because they fear being reprimanded, they wear what’s in fashion because they fear being ridiculed, they hide their more controversial ideas because they fear being rejected. Fear in itself is a useful emotion, but to have it as your main drive is inappropriate in today’s world. If you are being chased by a lion, feeling fear is very natural and useful because when a lion is after you, you should be running and hiding. But are those behaviours effective when you need to write an application letter, prepare for a date or open your bank statements?

When people are motivated by fear, they tend to be in a constant state of anxiety, which makes it much harder to lead a happy and healthy life. Avoiding everything that scares you tends to lead to small and mediocre actions.  When you are motivated by love, you move towards the things you value, desire and respect. This drive gives you a different feeling in this moment, and allows you to take actions with a better sense of timing. For example, if you need to study for an exam and you get to work because you enjoy the subject or want to learn the skill to reach a professional goal, you are as motivated today as you are on the day before the exam, so you can easily start on time. Fear-based motivation is at its highest when it is almost too late, so you have a tendency to procrastinate. Another danger is acting too soon. If you get married to a guy you aren’t even that fond of because you fear to be single at 30, you may be entering a lifetime of domestic dissatisfaction when you may very well meet another guy next year, one who suits you much better and gives you the feeling that you need not look any further.

When you let love conquer fear, you grow courage. You have the heart to do what is really best for you in the long run because you have trained your heart to be as strong as that of a lion.


About Christine

I enjoy life, being a woman, thinking about the future and writing.
This entry was posted in Femininity, Inspiration, Life-improvement, Self-improvement and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Fear or Love?

  1. Bhetti says:

    Yes. Our reaction to prolonged fear/stress can be explained via the general adaptation syndrome syndrome:

    Short-term stress is good, longer term stress leads to exhaustion and an inability to cope/react appropriately.

  2. Penelope says:

    This reminds me of Emily from the Bachelor…she doesn’t care that she is a single mom- she listens to her moms advice. Better to be alone than with someone and wish you were alone.

  3. Pingback: Three ways to happiness | Feminine Seductress

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