Prestige vs. qualities

Prestige describes our standing as seen in the eyes of others, our power to impress. Many men are very much drawn to women who are prestigious, because they feel a deep need to impress others. A woman’s sources of prestige include:

  1. Beauty in the conventional sense
  2. Fame and popularity
  3. Wealth
  4. Social class and education level
  5. Intellect and talent

Beauty comes first because it is universal, anyone can recognize and appreciate beauty. Popularity is basically fame on a small scale, while the prestige of the most popular girl in school vanishes when she is on holiday, the movie star is glamorous to all who see him on the silver screen. Any man who is himself unknown, can gain esteem in the eyes of others by dating a famous or popular girl. Wealth comes third, because a woman can use it to affect fame or beauty, but a man would not generally brag about having a wealthy wife. A wife’s social class and education level do reflect on her husband, but the threshold for acceptability varies greatly across social circles. A professor may be looked down upon for dating a woman who a gives footballer prestige. It takes a lot of time to find out if someone is talented or intellectual. Thus, these sources of prestige are only effective among intimate friends and while they can elicit esteem, they do not have same the power to impress as the higher ranked sources. My list of sources of prestige is an adaption from that in “The Technique of The Love Affair, applied to the 21st century world.”

A good seductress is aware of her personal sources of prestige. She knows how to use them to impress others or to lend them an air of glamour by glittering with her. She is also aware that prestige plays on the insecurities of others and never relies on it as her mainstay.  Even a decent man has some insecurities and would feel better presenting a well dressed, refined wife than a coarse and slovenly one, even if both are actually quite sweet. A seductress is merciful when it comes to these little insecurities. Those who are swayed by prestige alone however are those who feel they need to impress others at any cost. A man who marries a trophy wife even though she is unkind and unstable sacrifices his personal happiness to win the esteem of others. Healthier people may be drawn in by prestige, but require qualities to be won over.

Qualities are more inherent to a person, and are enjoyed for their own sake, even when no one is watching. A woman’s qualities include:

  1. Ability to make a man feel like a man and hero
  2. Radiant, vivacious appearance
  3. Nurturing and soothing
  4. Grace and poise
  5. Intelligence and talent

A universal desire of men is to feel masculine and necessary, therefore this quality brings him the highest degree of happiness. A radiant and vivacious appearance is pleasant to all, but not every man is attracted to the same look. If he is attracted to your basic type, it is nevertheless one of the most powerful pleasures. It takes time for a man to discover a woman’s ability to nurture and soothe, but in the long run it is one of the top sources of happiness. Grace and poise are recognized by the more refined men only, coarse men can be happy with women who are likewise. Intelligence and talent can even intimidate a man who lacks them, but do bring quite a bit of happiness to a man who also possesses these qualities.


About Christine

I enjoy life, being a woman, thinking about the future and writing.
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3 Responses to Prestige vs. qualities

  1. Francesca F says:

    FS, I think you should have mentioned that your classification is taken from “Technique of the Love Affair”. But interesting good explanation.

  2. This classification can be found anywhere, by anyone. We classify things our own way even if we’ve been guided by multiple people and books.

    It’s still her own beautiful words 🙂

    And TOTLA is certainly *not* the first book or written work to say this, even if was (or was not) the inspiration for this post.

    It’s a great post, better than that book!

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