To be charming is to enchant others by allowing them to melt and soften in a warm bath of positive feelings.
Be charming without even lifting a finger
Appear in a pleasant way, and you can lift the moods of others without even opening your mouth! Be devoid of any grating habits in your posture and body language, wear the clothes that fit and flatter and do this so naturally that you feel at ease and relaxed. It takes an effort to get there, but it is better to work hard on the acquisition of a pleasing appearance than to work hard to please others in spite of annoying habits. Once you are used to better habits, you reap the rewards for life.
Be a flattering mirror
Another way to create positive feelings is to make others aware of their own positive qualities. Reflect what is good about others to make them feel good about themselves. When charming women, find something attractive to compliment them on, or praise them for their skills at cooking or parenting. When charming men, admire their skills as a professional, their physical strength or their daring. Some women prefer to be complimented on the same things as men. If a woman talks about her job frequently, offers to life things for you or mentioned doing heavy work all on her own, admire her for it.
Even when you learn to step into the shoes of another and dole out positive feelings, not everyone will like you. And that is just fine. Some people are unreasonable, and they will not be pleased unless you bend over backwards. Keep your integrity and accept that not everyone can be your friend. If you make a pleasant first impression and give sincere compliments, most people will enjoy your company and be more than willing to do a few favors for you, despite any differences there may be in background, lifestyle and values. Unfortunately, a few very insecure and closed-minded people will only feel at ease among people who are just like them. They may call you “prissy”, “uppity”, or “old-fashioned” in an attempt to make you act more like them. This is controlling and unacceptable. Your integrity is more valuable than your ability to charm a small minority of people. And why would you care about winning them when you already have the majority wrapped around your little finger?