To create the ideal circumstances for a man to fall in love, we must cause him to fantasize about us frequently. If we want to learn how to create fantasies in the minds of others, we must first study what causes us to fantasize. I tend not wonder about things that are a given. I don’t lie in bed dreaming about the cheese sandwich I’ll eat tomorrow or wonder if I’m going to take a bath. If it is fall, and it rains every day, I won’t sit and wonder if it will rain. At the same time, I don’t frequently dream about having elephants as public transport or waking up to find that elves have done my housework.
So what do I dream about? An interesting job posting that may be right for me, imagining myself as succesful in it, making friends at my new job, how close it is to my house. A cute guy who chatted to me at the gym, how he’d take me out and be charming. A dress I’m planning to sew, imagining how good I look in them. For all these things there is a good chance they come to pass, but they are not certain. So to anchor ourselves into a man’s fantasies we must create hope, but also doubt.
To pull, we create hope by making eye contact, smiling sweetly, dressing up nicely for him, appreciating what he does, spending time with him, saying yes, being sweet, admiring him, cuddling him, being cute on the phone, being kind to others and so on.
To push, we create doubt by looking away, spending time with others, saying no, being busy, walking away, declining to go out, having a girl’s night out, guarding our boundaries, being mysterious, having high standards, being sassy and so on.
If you are naturally cool and mysterious, work to add hope. Look for things to compliment him on, and be lavish with praise, but be sincere. Show him how attracted you are by making approving glances and letting his hand linger on your shoulder as he guides you. Allow some kisses if you know him well enough and feel at ease about it. Learn to relax and enjoy the effects of your femininity. Give him sweet words and visions to dream about.
If you naturally give hope, you add doubt with artifice to be more exciting. To make it seem natural, lead a rich and full life so you will not always be available. Spend time in mixed circles so you have other men who are interested. And really do have high standards and tight boundaries. Then, as these doubt-inspiring events naturally start to occur, sit on your hands when you want to protect him. If he curses and you are offended, don’t endure it, but make it clear that it is unwelcome and distract yourself. If a guy from work comes over for a chat, be a good colleague and spend a few minutes with him before you focus on your date again. If your friend is throwing a party for her birthday, don’t always ask him along. Let him miss you, let him wonder.