If you want to influence the behaviour of another, there are a few things you could do:
The first can leave you frustrated and powerless, but it can be a valid option when something really isn’t that important. For example, you don’t like the clothes your friend wear. It would be healthy to accept that your friend may continue to dress this way, because it does not affect you.
The second gets the job done, but often ruins further interaction. In case of a poorly dressed friend, you could attempt to nag her into submission, buy better clothes and throw out her old ones. While this may cause her to dress a bit better, it causes so much resentment towards you and the new clothes. Many good examples of resentment can be seen in teenagers who have been forced into shape by their parents. A teenager may refrain from smoking if you ground him for it, throw out his ciggarettes and scold him when he smokes, but he will probably hate you, hate being a non smoker and take the first chance he has to light up. Force only works when you exercise it, and as soon as you stop, the situation reverts with a vengeance. It’s a fairly barbarian method, the oldest way of exercising power.
The third way would preserve the friendship, but it is quite dry and businesslike. You could offer a teenager to pay for his license if he does not smoke. Seems like a good plan, far more civilized than force. The kid behaves as you like, and you continue to be a well liked parent. Yet, once he has this license, he has little motivation to stay smoke free. It was not his choice. Again, as soon as you stop bribing, things are again beyond your control. When someone does something he does not want to do, there always has to be a carrot or a stick.
The fourth way works around this problem by creating desire in the person whose behaviour you want to adapt. When we seduce, we respect that the other acts according to his will. Seduction is to make another want what you want, and then let them do as they please. Both of you are happy, the adaptions last quite well and the other person likes you even more than before.